He's not a real doctor.

So, part of the idea around here is to branch away from just indie rock mp3s. Or just mp3s. Or just music, even. This post is mp3s, but it is not music. It's a big part of why I wanted to go into radio. It's a big influence on my humor and how I see the world. It's Dr. Science.


Duck's Breath Mystery Theatre were a comedy team that went from Iowa to San Francisco, and ended up enjoying various levels of fame. Some of you who are old enough will recall a character on MTV called Randee of the Redwoods. That guy? He's Jim Turner, one of the Duck's Breath members.




One of the other guys in the troupe was Dan Coffey. He created a character called Dr. Science, who, like Coffey, is not a real doctor, but does have a master's degree. Dr. Science's, naturally, is in science. Coffey's, as I recall vaguely from a newspaper article in the Des Moines Register when I was a teenager, had something to do with radio. (note: upon further research, it's actually in playwriting. You can get a master's in playwriting? Who knew?)

When I was young, radio was magic to me. I lived in a quite small town in Iowa. We had one radio station. I can't remember the call letters, but it's not there anymore. The staff there were actually pretty nice, and tolerant of young me. I even got to come up and be on the air once, just because I was REALLY EXCITED about radio. It seemed like paradise. It was the job for me. I got to college and found out a lot more about radio: you, the on-air personality, don't get to pick the records. You have no job security, and you get paid like shit. Oh well. But there was creativity out there, on college and public stations. And on NPR.

I also grew up a hardcore NPR and Wisconsin Public Radio nerd. "Whad'ya Know" every fuckin' weekend, you bet. Tom Clark every morning, Jean Feraca and Larry Meiller. Oh yes. And let's not forget about Talk of the Nation's Science Friday, where I first encountered Dr. Science.

Dan Coffey plays Dr. Science as a complete know-it-all. Literally, this man has an answer, a SCIENTIFIC ANSWER, for any question. He did, and for all I know still does, a daily 90 second spot which airs on various NPR stations. None around here. But two of the three things I'm putting up today are compilations of these spots.



It was important to me, among other reasons, because it was specific nerd humor. It was science-based, but complete absurdity. Could I someday be that kind of character? No way, nowhere near smart enough. But I could maybe do the voice...

These days, information on Dr. Science is scant at best. His official website is perennially down, replaced by a promise of a revamped site that never comes. But all his references on Wikipedia seem to be present tense ones. There is hope for us all, as long as Dr. Science is there.



I've got three things in this here zip file. One is the long-form cassette which I got from my mom, "I Know More Than You Do!" It's 60 minutes of the quick radio spots, and 30 minutes of radio play. Pretty good. Another is a tape I have merely labeled "Dr. Science," with no further information. It seems to come from a higher-fidelity source, and mostly regards technology of the late 90's. A pretty endearing time capsule, and funny all the same. Finally, there is an hour of Science Friday from September 2nd, 1994, in which Dr. Science takes calls and provides on-the-spot answers.

"That's right."